The Lunam Ceremony (Book One) (20 page)

“I am your friend,” she says quietly.

“Bullshit!” I slam my hand on the back of her sofa. So much for staying calm.

Her eyes dart up, and she steps back into the doorway. “I care about you.” She holds her hands up defensively, as if I may strike. I let her speak. I want to hear what she has to say. “I didn’t want to come here; my father was going to match me with a male from our pack. He didn’t go to Lunam because he’s a half-breed. I was fine with that. I didn’t want any trouble.”

Dillan was right; Conall doesn’t care about his bloodline if he was going to match his daughter to a half-breed that has no chance of ever leading. All the rumors about Shasta are real—they are tainted. That isn’t my problem. Not anymore.

“My father is so set on merging the packs, on gaining power over Monte, that he’ll do anything to get him out.”

I make a noise of disgust. I can’t believe he would whore out his only daughter to hurt my father. “And you just go along with it? You don’t even try to put up a fight?”

“I would never second-guess my father.” Cassie stands straighter. I feel her energy return to her. She is a pureblood, but she has no idea what that means. Layla was right, taking me away made me stronger. I think for myself, not the pack. “I was happy to match with whomever he chose for me. Then Lowell showed up with a proposition. They said they would match me with an alpha from Sierra. I didn’t know it was Dillan, I swear. Lowell didn’t tell me until we met up with Dillan.

I think back to the day that Cassie arrived. Dillan played it so cool, like nothing was wrong. Anger chokes me.

“We were in shock, and after Lowell left, we vowed never to tell anyone. Dillan said he would find another alpha for me, but I guess it didn’t work out.”

Dillan must have thought Rusty would be the perfect solution. He is a much better choice than the half-breed Conall would have matched her with. “Did he tell you who the alpha was?” I pray she doesn’t know. The less people that know Rusty’s secret, the safer he is.

“No.” She shakes her head. “He just told me it fell through. That’s when I decided to leave. I tried to call my father from the phone in the brew house but it wasn’t working. That’s why I went on the run with Dillan. I called him from a payphone in town while Dillan picked up a new phone for the brew house. My father must have called Lowell and told him I was leaving, that’s why he’s here today.”

Dillan must be in hell right now. Lowell will never accept Dillan’s defiance. He will see him as weak, just because he loves me too much to hurt me.

“Kalysia, you know the last thing I want to do is hurt you or Dillan. I love you like a sister and it killed me to keep this from you. I’m going back to Dunsmuir today.”

“No!” I stand and walk to the door. Cassie jumps at my sudden movement. She cowers when I stand before her. The power feels good and insidious. I take her hand to show her I won’t hurt her. “You can’t leave. You have to go through with it. You have to sleep with Dillan. Do it for me.”

“You’ve lost your mind.” Cassie paces around my living room in disbelief. “You want me to have Dillan’s baby?”

The more I try to convince Cassie that having Dillan’s baby is in everyone’s best interest, the stronger I feel about the situation. “Yes, it’s the best solution for everyone. You will get a strong heir; a leader in both packs. Lowell and Conall will get what they want, and Dillan and I can leave.”

It’s a win-win all around. I just have to stay strong and keep telling myself that one night, one child, will not change what Dillan and I have. We will still be us, nothing can change that.

“And Dillan is on board with this?” Cassie takes a large gulp from her wine glass while I clean the broken glass from my kitchen floor. I guess Rusty forgot to send the beta. He’s probably running around with everyone else trying to appease Lowell. I hate to think about what will happen to him after we leave. He’s Leah’s brother too, she must know about him. If Drake is put in charge, he will protect him.

We finish off a bottle of wine, and I’m considering opening another when my radio beeps. It’s Leah, dinner is ready. I ask her if Lowell is staying, and she grumbles yes. Cassie and I walk into the lodge together; Clio and Dillan are the only ones who look shocked.

Lowell makes a big show of putting his plate down to greet me. “Kalysia, how wonderful to see you again,” he says with a forced smile.

If I didn’t know what he was plotting behind my back, the sudden show of affection would have freaked me out. “It’s nice to see you too. How is Adel?”

Lowell says she’s fine and escorts me to his table. “I missed you today on the tour of the camp. Dillan said you weren’t feeling well.”

I look up and see Dillan at the buffet. He is trying to hurry to the table, but one of the beta males is pestering him with questions.

“I’m fine, just too much wine last night.” I feign a hangover. “I’m lucky Cassie was here to take care of me. You know Cassie, don’t you?” Cassie hasn’t moved from the door; I wave her over.

“Yes, Conall’s daughter. I orchestrated her transfer to your branch. Dillan told me how much it meant to you.” Lowell’s sinister smile almost sends me over the edge.

“I made you a plate, Kalysia.” Dillan shoves a plate in my hand and ushers me to the opposite side of the table. Dillan must have been watching us while he made my plate, because he has lasagna piled on a bed of lettuce, topped off with ranch dressing and croutons. I sit at the opposite end of the table and pretend to eat while Dillan sits beside his father with a beer.

Turns out Lowell didn’t just come here to ruin my life, he has good news—our license came through, so we can start distribution, and he already has buyers. I’m too wound up to listen to Lowell lecture the guys on quality and building the brand. I dump my plate and I retreat to the corner of the lodge where we have a few sofas set up, and a television that doesn’t get cable. Cassie finishes her dinner and joins me.

The lodge empties quickly nobody wants to hang out with Lowell here, so it’s easy to hear their conversation. Dillan tells Lowell we have enough product to fill his orders, they just need more drivers. Drake suggests they hire outside help, but Lowell says absolutely not. Everything stays within the pack. Lowell thinks we should reach out to Shasta for help. It would show our enthusiasm to join forces. They decide to make a run to Mt. Shasta this week to enlist drivers. I see the longing in Cassie’s face when they mention heading up to Shasta. I know she wants to see her family, but I can’t let her go. Not now. If she leaves, she may never come back.

By some miracle it doesn’t snow, and Lowell is able to leave around eight. Dillan doesn’t even walk him to the gate.

“Are we telling him tonight?” Cassie whispers from behind the magazine she is pretending to read. I give her a look that is part “I don’t know” and part “shut the hell up.”

I’m waiting for Dillan and Drake to finish talking so we can walk back together. I want to break the news to him as soon as possible. Leah finally emerges from the kitchen. Her face lights up when she sees Drake waiting for her. She drapes her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek. “Are you ready?” Drake seems happier at the sight of her. I envy them.

“Ok, let’s go.” We stand up, and Cassie walks to the door to retrieve our coats. Dillan watches Cassie and me closely. He’s trying to figure out what is going on. When Cassie hands me my jacket and gloves, Dillan finally stands.

“Dillan, can you walk us back, please?” I have Cassie ask him this. I know it’s cruel, but I want to see his reaction.

Dillan narrows his eyes at me. “Sure.” He walks to the door and puts on his jacket and beanie.

We walk in silence until we reach Cassie’s cabin. “Kalysia, are you going to tell me what you’re doing?” Dillan says from behind me. Cassie stops and turns to him, but I grab her arm.

“Let’s get inside,” I call over my shoulder, dragging Cassie alongside of me to her front door.

Dillan kicks the snow off his shoes for what seems like forever while Cassie and I wait inside near the fireplace. Dillan finally enters the cabin and closes the door. He walks to the tiny dining table across from the sofa and leans against it, crossing his arms over his chest. “What’s going on?”

“I know why Lowell was here.” I stand beside Cassie, a unified front. She promised she would back me up no matter what.

“We need to discuss this in private.” Dillan gives me a cautionary look.

“No, this involves Cassie too. She should be here.”

“Ok,” Dillan nods and makes a huge effort not to look at her.

“Rusty told me about the deal your father offered you.”

Dillan uncrosses him arms and steps towards the sofa. He grips the cushions and looks down at his white-knuckled hands. “I know what you’re thinking, and I wasn’t going to take the deal. I would never hurt you like that.”

Seeing him so distraught makes what I’m about to say a bit easier. Giving my approval for him and Cassie to have a child feels like a gift. It also makes the pain I feel in my chest a little more bearable. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me. Which is why I spoke to Cassie this afternoon and we decided—”

“Kalysia, let me finish.” Dillan stands up straight, towering over the sofa. “Lowell isn’t going to let this go. I tried to reason with him, but he won’t back down. I have to give him what he wants, or he will disown me.” Dillan squeezes his fists to control his anger.

“You don’t have to worry about that.” I try to interrupt him, but he is too angry to listen.

“He said I will be outcast, and that you,” he closes his eyes in disgust, “he said he would make sure you were given to another alpha. Like you’re some piece of meat!” Dillan punches at the sofa, and we hear wood crack. “He doesn’t care that I love you. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself!” Dillan is on the verge of a complete meltdown. I could have spared him this anguish. I should have found him earlier and told him about my plan. If I had, he wouldn’t have angered Lowell. Dillan moves quickly around the sofa. Cassie and I jump backwards.

“I love you, Kalysia, but I don’t have a choice.” My heart is in my throat. “I have to do as my father says.” His eyes drift to Cassie, and she looks away.

I’m at a loss for words. He’s telling me he will take Cassie this season with or without my blessing. My head is spinning. I move to the sofa and sit down. I thought I would have to convince him to be with her. I was going to persuade him to do it out of his love for me and mine for him, so we could live happily ever after on our terms. But all that is out the window now. Lowell made this about him. Dillan is obeying his father’s wishes regardless of my feelings.

“I never should have gone to Lunam.” Dillan paces from the fireplace to the door. “I’m sorry.” He looks from me to Cassie. She holds his gaze a few seconds before looking away. This isn’t about me, it never was. I can tell myself it was my idea, convince myself that this is what’s best for me and Dillan. At the end of the day, it’s what’s best for Lowell.

Dillan stands in front of the fire with his head in his hands. Cassie floats somewhere between us. She will always be a wedge in our relationship. In nine months there will a new piece to this puzzle.

Cassie clears her throat and I look towards her. She is starting at Dillan. “Um, Dillan, I think Kal—”

“Don’t,” I demand and Cassie stops. I don’t want to hear her voice right now. This night has gone horribly wrong. Telling Dillan that I want him to sleep with Cassie for me seems like a joke.

“Kalysia, come here.” Dillan reaches for my hand and I jerk away.

I don’t want to be touched by him, by anyone. I run out of the cabin, into the snow. I run past our cabin, into the woods, and phase.

I phase back almost immediately, and I find myself lying face up in the snow. I pull something from under my back, it’s my boot. Half of boot. Snow begins to burn my bare back.

“Kalysia!” Cassie yells, and the next thing I know she is helping me up. “Hurry, I don’t want anyone to see you like this.” She ushers me to my cabin. I don’t protest. I don’t do or say anything. My mind is a jumbled mess of words and feelings. Cassie disappears then returns a few minutes later with a towel to cover my half-naked body. “Take off your pants, I’m running you a bath.” My pants are held together by shreds of cloth. I pull them off, then follow her to the bathroom.

My feet burn when I step into the bathtub. I submerge my frozen limbs and wait for my muscles to relax. My mind catches up to itself and my chest starts to ache. Cassie walks into the bathroom with a bottle of water and sits in on the edge of the tub. “I can’t believe you phased like that.”