Authors: Jessica Wilde
After that moment in my room, I couldn't keep my hands off of her. We didn't discuss what happened and we didn't need to. No awkwardness followed and, if anything, it only made me want her more.
"So, Merrick," Keara remarked. "What are you going to do when you're healed up?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, do you need to finish up some schooling? Or are you going to find a job at the base?"
I'd never even thought about that. Grace and I had talked about what we wanted, but the biggest thing was whether or not I wanted to travel or master Braille.
The job I had before my deployment was no longer an option. Hell, a lot of jobs were no longer an option. It was just another thing I'd given up on without even thinking about it.
"I have no idea," I said, a little hesitantly.
"Well, I'm sure they've got jobs at the base you can do."
"I don't know."
"Why not?"
Grace's hand moved to mine. "Have you thought about what you're going to do?"
I shook my head. "Being blind has its drawbacks."
"I get it," Grace smiled. "Doesn't mean it has to stop you."
I pondered that conversation the rest of the day. Was it possible to get a job and somehow provide for myself? Taking one day at a time, didn't really leave a lot of room for planning. Plus, I'd accepted that whatever future I could give to Grace, it wouldn't be extravagant, but I'd make up for it by being the kind of man she could be proud of. Any way I could.
Maybe I didn't have to just
accept
it. Maybe I was wrong.
Just maybe, I could embrace it.
***
"You've been quiet," Grace declared as we pulled into the driveway later that evening. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No, not at all," I reassured her. "If anything, you and Keara made me think."
"About what?" She turned the ignition off and waited.
"About what the future holds. I never thought about a job or what I could still do. It just wasn't a possibility."
"And?"
I sighed, reaching across the console to find her hand. "And I'm looking forward to it."
I knew she was smiling, but she lifted my hand to her face anyway. I felt her lips stretching up, then she kissed my fingers. "Good."
We made our way inside my house, and the sexual tension I'd felt all day, came to a head. We were alone and I was suddenly eager to have a repeat of Friday.
I am a man after all.
Grace shut the front door behind us and I stopped fighting it. I could hear her surprise when I backed her up against the door. Her hands lifted to my chest, her breath whooshing out when I stepped closer and roughly pressed our bodies together. I felt her hands come around my neck as I leaned in to kiss her.
She curled her fingers in my hair, pulling me closer as our lips moved together. I pressed my hands into the cold wood at either side of her head and deepened the kiss. She arched her back, pressing into me like she always did, setting my skin on fire.
"Fuck, Grace. I want you so bad right now."
Her whimper slid against my lips, then she threw her head back as I licked and nipped at the soft skin of her neck. I could stay there forever, tasting Grace while she was wrapped around me. I snaked my arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground, feeling a twinge in my leg and not caring in the slightest.
"Merrick, wait."
Her breathless voice barely registered in my mind, but I found the strength to stop. "What is it?"
"I don't want you to hurt yourself."
"Believe me, it's worth the pain," I growled and dove in for another taste of her neck, making a path down to her exposed collar bone.
"Oh, God."
"You can call me Merrick," I mumbled, biting gently at her skin.
She let out a breathy laugh and pulled away as much as she could with the door pressed against her back. "Merrick, we can't."
I sighed, setting her feet on the floor and giving her neck one last kiss. "I forget the reason," I admitted.
"I'm still your nurse and even though I wasn't on duty today, I don't want to risk–"
"Got it. I understand," I cut in. "So, you're fired."
"Excuse me?"
"I just fired you."
"You can't– "
"Oh, I think I can."
"Merrick."
"Grace."
She made a frustrated sound which only made me smile. She was so damn sexy when she was aggravated and there was even a tiny stomp from her foot.
I pressed my forehead to hers, kissing the tip of her nose.
"I'll call the hospital tomorrow morning and ask for an official release," she said.
I couldn't resist. "I can give you an official release right here and it will only take a few minutes."
She laughed, throwing her head back enough for me to dive back in for more. She loved when I kissed her neck. I couldn't get enough of it.
"Please, Merrick."
I shifted on my feet and adjusted my pants. "Okay. I'll stop, but it's causing me a lot of pain."
"Where?" she asked, looking down at my leg.
"Not there. And not the bad kind of pain either." I stuck my bottom lip out in a playful pout and she pulled it between her lips and bit down. She knew exactly what that was doing to me, but before I could do anything about it, she pressed her hands against my chest and gently pushed me away.
"Goodnight, Merrick," she said breathlessly. Then she was gone; out the door before I could make the switch from one brain to the other.
I raked my fingers through my hair and painfully walked to my room a few minutes later.
What hit me then, wasn't sexual frustration. Though, I was feeling a lot of that. And it wasn't disappointment, either, even if my hard on
was
feeling
that
.
It was pure and utter happiness. A resolution.
I loved Grace and I wasn't going to wait any longer to tell her.
Grace
Why did I insist that I would be able to sleep?
I glanced at the clock for the thousandth time in just a few hours.
12:30 AM.
My entire body still felt Merrick pressed against it. Every inch of my skin was still tingling from his touch. I was desperate for
something
. Anything.
I stared up at the dark ceiling of my room, debating on whether or not I was completely crazy or just stupid.
Stupid
.
I'd just walked away from the sexiest man I'd ever known. One who was ready to give me what I wanted without needing to ask for it. And for what? Because I thought it was a risk to my job.
Who does that?
Apparently, I do. And now, I was suffering the consequences.
The truth was, I was nervous. The last time I'd been with a man, I was several weeks pregnant and he was an asshole. Merrick would be different, but damn if I couldn't just let go and do it already.
Silently cracking my window open the second I walked into my room, I had listened to Merrick move around. Of course, I didn't hear much, but I saw his shadow. Those shoulders, broad and strong. His chest, so hard and muscular. I knew he undressed to go to bed and his body was mouthwatering.
It was torture, knowing he was almost naked and so close.
Closing my eyes, I moved my hand beneath the sheets and lightly glided my fingers down my stomach. Maybe if I could find a small release, I'd be able to sleep. I didn't realize I was practically panting until I heard Merrick's voice come through my window.
"You're not allowed to touch yourself, Grace," he growled. "Not tonight."
I let out a frustrated groan, pulling my hand out of the sheets. I didn't need to ask how he knew. It was obvious I couldn't control myself. "Why not?"
"Because
I
want it."
I closed my eyes, arching my back off the bed and squeezing my legs together. It only made it worse.
"Is it strange that I can still feel your skin under my fingers?" he asked, roughly. "I'd be climbing through your window right now if I could."
"What would you do?" I asked, breathlessly.
"Mmmm," he rumbled. "I'd kiss you first, until you were dizzy, just like you make me feel."
I exhaled slowly, already feeling the blood rushing down my body.
"Then I'd spend a long time learning every inch of your skin. I'd touch you everywhere, taste you everywhere. Then, when you were ready, soaking wet and begging for it, I'd pin you to the bed and shove my cock inside of you. I'd make you come over and over again. All night."
I was out of my bed before he'd finished the last two words, slamming the window closed before scurrying out of my bedroom. I made it into the hallway and tiptoed to the foyer.
I wasn't going to wait any longer.
As soon as the front door clicked shut, I all but ran across the front yard, barefoot and in nothing but my boy short panties and a thin spaghetti strap shirt. I made it to Merrick's front door in a matter of seconds. Breathless and aroused.
He was waiting for me.
The door swung open, revealing Merrick in nothing but his boxer briefs, that perfect V at his hips and those powerful legs keeping him steady. Hunger overtook his face and a massive bulge tented between his legs. I swallowed thickly as I stepped inside, just inches from him.
"I can feel you without even touching you, you know that?" he whispered. "Every nerve in my body goes on alert when you're near me."
I let out a harsh breath, heat rising in my cheeks, and suddenly, the door slammed shut and he was on me. Holding my face in his hands and kissing me ravenously. I briefly worried about his leg when his hands dropped to my ass and lifted me off the ground. He didn't flinch with discomfort. If anything, he looked more relieved than pained. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my back hit the door once more.
"Christ. What are you wearing?" he sputtered as his fingers slid to the hem of my boy shorts and underneath.
The grip of his rough fingers on my bare skin forced me to bite my lip to keep from crying out. He pressed his hard stomach between my legs and took my lips in another greedy kiss. I'd been wet for hours. No doubt he could feel it, but it didn't stop me from rocking against him, searching for the right pressure.
He grunted against my lips, pressing me harder into the door to pin me with his hips. When I was steady, he slid his hands up my sides, taking my tiny shirt up with them. The cool air hit my skin and his hot fingers left a trail of goose bumps behind. My nipples ached the closer he came to them and finally, with a harsh breath, he cupped my bare breasts in his massive hands.
"Fucking perfect."
"Please, Merrick," I begged. For what? I didn't know.
Anything.
Everything.
I whimpered as his hands left my breasts to tear my shirt over my head. Both of us moaned with relief once we pressed together, skin to skin. My sensitive nipples slid against his chest, making me wild. I gripped onto his shoulders, feeling the scarring beneath my right hand. He didn't flinch anymore when I touched him. The scars didn't matter to either one of us.
"Hold onto me, baby."
I wrapped my hands around his neck and held on tight. He turned, a determined look on his face while he counted his steps. We both laughed when we bumped into a wall, but within seconds, we were in his room and he was dropping to sit on the bed with me straddling him.
All laughter died out when he pulled my hips forward, a gasp leaving my lips at the feel of his hardness pressing against me. Then his hands returned to my breasts, slowly finding their way. The anticipation of his touch made me shift forward, offering myself up to him. When his head dropped to my chest, I held my breath, crying out as his lips wrapped around my nipple.
His hands never stopped moving. He found every rib, every dip and curve. He was everywhere. I took my turn, scratching my finger nails across his back, feeling that ripple of muscle when I did.
When his hand came to a stop, directly over my heart, he leaned back. We were both panting, frantic for more.
"Can I have this?" he asked, pressing his hand against my chest and making me pause.
Happiness, pure and simple, overwhelmed me.
My heart.
The muscle in his jaw twitched and worry clouded his features. The uncertainty behind that look almost broke the very thing he was asking for.
"You already have it, Merrick."
He sighed with relief, kissed me fully, then circled his arms around my waist. Our chests were crushed together when he stood, pausing halfway to adjust his leg.
"Be careful."
"Don't worry, baby. I've got you. I can't fall with you in my arms. It's just not possible."
My heart skipped a beat. I didn't think that kind of thing really happened, but for the space of a full heart beat, everything inside of me stopped.
This couldn't be real. Nothing about this could possibly be real.
Merrick turned, staying steady on his leg, and laid me down on his bed. He shifted on top of me, adjusting his leg so he could settle between mine. He took both of my arms in his hands and firmly planted them above my head. When he was sure I wouldn't move them, he started slowly gliding his fingers back down to my ribs.
"Grace, I want you to have better. I know you
deserve
better, but I want you too much to let you go. It's worth the risk. Being able to love you is worth anything."
My eyes filled with moisture as I gazed up at him, seeing the sincerity on his face and wishing that he could see how happy he made me. His eyes were pointed down, as if he was looking slightly over my shoulder, but he was seeing me in his own way. I knew that now.
He brought his hand back to my heart and drew in a long breath. "If this is mine, I swear to you, I'll take care of it."
"I know, Mer."
I lifted my legs to wrap them around his hips again and he bent forward, holding his weight up with his left hand next to my head. The arm was practically back to normal, only giving him problems when he overused it. I turned my head to kiss his wrist. The hand over my heart came up to my face, sliding lightly over my lips, my nose, my eyes.
"I'm going to take my time, Grace. Being this close to you, touching you this way, is worth savoring."
He started slow.
The kisses that covered my face made me feel beautiful. The kisses he seared into my neck, made me feel safe. Then his fingers drifted over me, sliding back and forth over dips I didn't think were all that interesting.
Merrick found them fascinating.
"You have the softest skin," he whispered with a grin. "And you smell like sugar."
I closed my eyes as he circled my breasts.
"These feel beautiful. They fit so flawlessly in my hands."
My eyes rolled back into my head when he bent forward to take one in his mouth. He flicked my hardened nipple with his tongue, then lifted my breast to kiss the skin underneath. The skin that is only touched by the wire of a bra.
Oh God.
It was a sensation I'd never felt before. Merrick noticed. He took his time, just like he promised and his hands followed every kiss. Every bite. He counted my ribs, pushing my hands back up above my head when they came down on instinct.
"Leave them, Grace. I'm not done."
I giggled when he started over, tickling me in the most delirious way. By the time he made it to my navel, I was a mess. All I could do was breathe.
Touch is so powerful. The anticipation is potent.
He kissed the skin above my panties, spending a full minute running his mouth back and forth from one hip to the other. I released a harsh breath when his fingers finally curled under the material and slowly peeled them down, brushing against my sensitive skin.
The rumble in his chest could be felt at my toes.
This is what pure bliss feels like.
"Bare?" he gasped.
My eyes popped open, and I lifted my head to see his face hovering above me, those shoulders straining with the effort it was taking him to hold still. "Is that–"
"The sexiest thing ever? Umm, yeah," he growled.
My response flew out the window when his lips pressed against that bare skin. Screw my job. I wasn't giving this up for anything.
"Merrick ..."
He lifted up on his knees so quickly, I was afraid he was stopping. Then he tore my panties down my legs and tossed them aside. His eyes were closed and I wondered at the disappointment he must feel not being able to see what he was doing.
I was completely off base, however, because he looked more aroused then I
felt
. Which is saying something.
"I have to see you," he stuttered.
I was only confused for a split second. Then his hands slid up the inside of my legs, so slowly, sinking behind my knees to lift and spread them open.
I knew what he meant then. I could barely catch my breath, just thinking about it.
The cool air touching my hot flesh made me shiver, but it was quickly replaced with a full-body tremble. How could someone have so much power with just a simple touch?
I gasped when his hand cupped me, putting just the right amount of pressure exactly where I needed it. It was only a moment, then his fingers drifted up and down, back and forth. Finding every inch of flesh he couldn't see. Seeing me in his own way.
Then those gentle fingers delved into my slick flesh and my hips shot off the bed.
"You're soaked, baby."
"Aaah," I gasped.
He refused to surrender, driving me to the edge before bringing me back. He circled that tiny bundle of nerves, over and over, until I was on the verge of screaming. He relented, but it wasn't his fingers that gave me relief. If you can even call it that.
I opened my eyes, only to see his head lower slightly before his hot lips wrapped around that swollen bud. His finger slid inside of me, curling up enough to make me see stars. I closed my eyes again, too turned on to really watch, my body rippling with pleasure. His low, gruff moan made it all the more gratifying, vibrating against me as he sucked, hard.
"Christ. You even taste like sugar," he whispered against my skin before removing his finger, only to add another.
After the slow build he had instigated and the constant need for just a little more, my body wasn't turning back. It was when he lifted one of my legs to rest on his shoulder, that I felt the tightening begin. He put his mouth on me again and it was over.
My body ignited and he held me
right there
, taking me further into the blaze. Spurring on the sparks of pleasure until they faded into hot embers.
I couldn't move, couldn't even open my eyes.
He kissed the inside of my thighs, breathing harshly, but patiently waiting for me to come back down.
"That was beautiful," he said, resting his cheek against my thigh.
Words wouldn't come, so I just hummed a sigh in agreement.
Exquisite
.
He slid up my body, kissing a path up the center of my chest, then lingering at my neck. He loved it there and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't my favorite place for him to be. Well,
one
of my favorite places.
I brought my hands to the back of his head, curling my fingers to hold on. He found my lips and kissed me, slow yet powerful. Like the curl of a wave just before it breaks into a rage of energy.
All day, I had felt that energy. Whenever I was beside him, all of his attention was on me.
Seeing
me like no one else did. He had looked like a man who knew that what he wanted, was right in front of him. He was just deciding how to take it.
Now, he was taking it. And I was more than willing to give it.
"Grace," he mumbled against my lips. "I want you to know something."
"Okay."
He lifted up, taking some of his weight off my chest. I watched him swallow and lick his lips nervously, that firm jaw twitching a little before he spoke. "I'm in love with you."
My fingers constricted as happiness surged through me, bringing energy to every limb and a curl to my lips.