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"I've loved you since the beginning, I think," he explained, speaking slowly and intently. "You're everything I could ever want and so much more."

I cupped his face, tracing his cheek with my thumb and feeling the scar that ran across it. He was beautiful. Exquisite in every way. I moved my thumb to trace his lips.  "I love you, too, Merrick."

It was a spark. It had to be. Something in his eyes that drew my attention.

Then, he blinked, and it was gone. But his smile was devastating enough to distract me.

He kissed me hard, sliding a hand down to my thigh. My mind briefly registered the need for protection when he slowly slid his boxer briefs off, but it was quickly swiped away. We were both clean. I'd read his chart and he knew he could trust me. That's why neither one of us hesitated when he positioned himself at my center.

We moved against each other, both of us pausing at the first touch and reveling in the relief of finally being there.

He pulled his hips back a little, pressing his forehead to mine. Then, he slowly surged forward, stretching me enough that I had to hold my breath to take him. He stopped, pulling back only to pitch forward once more, a groan leaving him until he was fully seated inside of me.

We stayed right there. Unmoving. The fullness overwhelming me.

His breaths fanned my face and I already felt the build. It was impossible, but that's what Merrick did to me. He awakened everything by doing nothing.

I lifted my hips to force him deeper and that was the push he needed to let go of his control. He took me hard, deep. His hands were everywhere, then planted at the sides of my head. He pushed his hips forward, forcing me up the bed, inch by inch. I met every thrust with one of my own, driving him on. Driving us both to the edge.

"Grace."

He was close, but so was I.

I felt him swell inside of me, finding places he hadn't yet reached. "Yes."

The build was quicker. A rush of liquid heat searing my veins until finally ...

I shouted his name, unable to hold it back. He swallowed my cries when he crushed his lips to mine, and he kept thrusting. In and out. Drawing out the pleasure for both of us.

A final thrust and his weight fell on top of me, his arms trembling when he tried to hold himself up. I embraced him and took all of it, because it's what I wanted.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear.

I closed my eyes and felt a hot tear slide down my temple.

This ...
this
was bliss.

Merrick

I knew it wasn't a dream before I even came fully awake.

The warm, soft body pressed up against me, was real. For the last five mornings, she'd been
absolutely
real. And here with me.

Her parents had a lot to say about that, but it wasn't the time. Grace had stayed with me every night that week. It still wasn't enough.

She'd gotten another job in the hospital. Instead of the actual homecare nursing, she was given a coordinating position until the patients they had scheduled for the near future, were ready. It required her whole day, but she enjoyed it and the people she worked with. Plus, she came home to me every evening.

I made some phone calls when I wasn't doing my exercises or practicing Braille. The base nearby had a few civilian positions they were excited about having me try out. One of them included counseling with other wounded soldiers and getting involved with the Special Operations Warrior Foundation that had helped my family when I was injured.

I was more than happy to be a part of it. They had funded the way for my parents to travel to Germany to see me, so I was gratefully indebted to their cause. A lot of other men needed help and so did their families. I would start the next week out getting to know them and training on what would be required of me.

In just a matter of days, the struggles from the past few months went from obstacles to stepping stones. Instead of looking down, I was finally looking forward.

All the while, Grace was with me. Encouraging me to take a chance. For the first time since I lost my sight, I felt like I wasn't a burden. I knew I could do anything, even blind.

The only thing I wanted it back for, was to see Grace. To see her smile and laugh. To see the twinkle in her eyes when she teased me. To see her body arch off the bed when I made love to her.

Her hand came to my chest and she sighed, still sleeping but staying close to me like I wanted. Even in the middle of the night I reached for her. It helped me sleep. The nightmares were still there, but waking to feel her next to me made the panic swiftly ebb. It brought light to that darkness and instead of feeling like I was about to lose my mind, I took control of it.

Most of the time, I pulled her against me and made love to her until the storm passed. She asked me about it one morning and informed me that she was more than happy to be my outlet. As each day passed, I could sense the peace lingering more and more.

What had felt like a cage, suddenly turned into ultimate freedom.

I knew it was because of Grace, but I also knew that I'd worked my ass off to get there.

"Mmm, why are you awake, babe?" Grace mumbled.

I curled my arm around her shoulder, pulling her on top of me a little more. Her legs straddled my hips and she settled in with her nose pressed to my throat.

I loved the feel of her skin against mine. It's why I made the no-clothing-in-bed rule that first morning together when she had nothing to change into but those scraps of material she showed up in.

She agreed that it was a very strict rule that should never be broken.

"Just thinking about you," I said against her hair.

"And what were you thinking?"

"That I've got a hard issue that needs to be hammered out with you," I smirked.

Her chuckle vibrated against my chest, then she lifted onto her hands. I felt her stretch her back when I latched onto her hips. She shifted on my lap, discovering the issue I was talking about.

"I like to take care of rising issues immediately," she teased.

I sat up quickly, making her yelp with surprise. Once my back was pressed against the head board, I lifted my hips and pulled her down roughly. She gasped, but kept moving against me.

She was already so wet, and feeling her slide over me sent me quickly to the point of no return. I bent my head and found her breast, licking my way to her nipple and pulling it between my lips. She clutched my head against her chest and lifted on her knees. I positioned myself at her entrance and helped her slowly sink down, engulfing me in her slick heat.

"You feel so fucking good," I muttered against her skin. "Take me hard, baby."

She did exactly what I asked. She went wild on top of me, taking control only to give it back when it became too much. I kept my grip on her hips and helped her keep a rhythm that drove us both over the edge.

She whispered my name when she came. It swiftly sent me spiraling with her.

We clung to each other for several minutes, slowing our breaths as I explored her body for the hundredth time.

I knew every inch of her. The places to touch that would make her sigh, the dips and curves that I had discovered; they were all ingrained in my memory.

I still wanted the sight of her. I wanted to know the exact color of her skin. I wanted to see the goose bumps I felt rise whenever I touched her.

But my imagination was vivid.

That would have to be enough, for now.

***

I was dreaming of Grace.

I didn't even know we had fallen asleep again, but Grace was riding me, her breasts swaying from her thrusts. I could imagine what she looked like above me and I could only see it in sleep. It's funny that I would truly rather touch that skin than see it.

Grace opened her mouth to cry out, her face blurry in my subconscious, but the only sound I could hear was the shrill ringing of my phone. I opened my eyes and flinched. There was still nothing, but my right eye ached, reminding me of the sensation of going from dark to light.

Grace was tucked in my arms, her face pressed to my chest and her hand over my heart again. The phone continued to ring, but she didn't move a muscle.

I must have wore her out this morning,
I smiled to myself.

Shifting slowly, I carefully let her fall away from me. Her sigh was so sexy and I already felt the stir between my legs.

But the phone kept ringing.

I felt around on the nightstand and finally found the annoying plastic square. Flipping it open, I brought it to my ear. "Yeah."

"Merrick? It's Jeff."

That woke me completely. "Dr. Samuelson?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I woke you. I, um, thought Grace might answer the phone."

"Oh, no I got to it first."

Awkward.

"I'll cut right to the chase, then. I need you to come in sometime today."

I frowned, a little ball of anxiety forming in my stomach. "But I was just there a week ago."

"I know, but this is important."

I sat up, being careful not to jostle Grace too much. "What's going on, sir?"

"It would really be much easier if you came in so I could talk to you. I can contact Emma if you need me to."

"That won't be necessary, but I'd really like to know what's going on. You're making me nervous."

Jeff sighed and a rustling sound came through the phone before the sound of a door shutting. "I think I figured it out, son. After finding out what you're experiencing, I made some calls. There's a real possibility that your right eye can be corrected."

My entire body stiffened and my heart thumped wildly. "Excuse me?"

"This is why I need you to come in. I can answer any questions you have."

I might be able to see.

The idea seemed completely foreign to me. This had to be a crazy, sick twist in my dream. I scratched my fingernails over my head, tugging on my hair until pain registered.

Not a dream.

"Sir."

"I know, Merrick. Don't think. Just come in and we'll talk."

I nodded, mostly for myself. Making the decision so I wouldn't be able to back out. "I'll be there within an hour."

"Good. I'll push back the rest of my patients."

I closed the phone and raked my fingers through my hair again. My shoulders were trembling. My lungs were burning. What was happening?

And what the hell could correct my right eye? My left eye was toast, I knew that and I'd accepted it, but to see out of one eye ... it was so much better than nothing.

I opened my phone and pressed the button to call Mom. I spoke quietly, not wanting to wake Grace yet. Not until I could focus.

"Mom."

I didn't intend for my voice to quiver and she picked up on it. Nothing got past Mom. Not even when it got past me.

"What is it, sweetie? Is everything okay? Oh, God, is it Grace?"

"Yeah. I mean, no. Everything's fine. Umm, I need to get to Dr. Samuelson's. Would you mind driving me?"

"What's going on, Mer?"

I cleared my throat and shook my head. "I don't know yet, but he said he has some answers for me."

Mom didn't need to ask any questions. "I'll be there in ten minutes. Let me call in and get someone to cover for me first."

I closed my phone and set it on the nightstand. It took a few minutes to calm my racing heart. Grace still hadn't stirred.

I turned, reaching around to find her hand. Her slim fingers were heavy with sleep. I leaned over her and dragged my nose down her cheek, over her jaw, and down her neck, kissing her there. Tasting her as I slid my other hand over her waist.

"Mmm, five more minutes," she said sleepily, moving closer to me. Like a magnet. It was the same pull I felt for her.

"I have to go, baby."

She stilled. "You do?"

"Yeah, your dad just called."

I imagine her expression was a little surprised. "What? He did? What's going on?" She sat up, forcing me back so we wouldn't knock heads.

I kissed her forehead and threaded my fingers through her hair. I hated lying to her, but I didn't want her to have any false hope. Not until I knew exactly what was happening. "I don't know. But I'll find out and let you know. Okay?"

"Okay. I'm helping Keara with some wedding stuff today. She took the day off. Maybe I'll head over there a little early."

"Go back to sleep for a bit. She'll be there when you wake," I whispered, kissing her nose. "I'm just going to get dressed and head out when my mother gets here."

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No, I'm only hungry for one thing, but I can't have it right now or I'll never leave this house."

She giggled when I moved my hand under the sheet and slid my hand between her thighs. I was being completely serious.

"Be good," she gasped, contradicting her words when she lifted her hips.

"I'm always good, baby." I kissed her hard, hoping that this pit in my stomach wasn't the warning I assumed it was.

***

"What are you saying?"

Jeff sighed and cleared his throat, the squeak of his chair breaking through the silence in the room. It forced hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. This didn't feel real and I couldn't discern between curiosity and a disturbing alertness.

I'd just been told that Grace's father had never given up on finding a way to help my eyes. In fact, that little trip our parents made was a joint effort in finding more answers.

"I'm saying that, with surgery, there's a good chance you'll be able to see out of your right eye. Maybe not perfectly, but it's something."

Surgery. One more surgery could possibly change everything.

No. Don't hold your breath. Not yet.

"How did this happen?"

Jeff shifted in his chair with another squeak, then spoke. "That fever of yours must have made everything more sensitive. Thank God for it. The fact that you were having light sensitivity at all was the first clue."

"And the surgery?" I asked, knowing it wasn't going to be a simple one.

"Well, I'd need to make a few observations. It would pretty much be a normal cataract surgery with a few minor alterations. It's a risk, but it won't make things worse if that's what you're wondering."

"Does that mean this might be something that could eventually come back on its own?"

"No, if anything, it would only become more painful until you need surgery to correct it anyway. At least, that's my theory."

"Merrick," Mom whispered, resting her hand on my shoulder. "It's a chance. This is an easy decision."

"Is it?" I snapped, tightening my jaw to keep from saying anything worse. "I don't think so, Mom. It's hope. We all know what hope can become when the outcome doesn't end up being what we wanted."

"Son, what have you got to lose?"

Nothing.

Everything.

I had finally accepted that I was never going to be the same. I was a different man now. I had plans and expectations for myself. Blind.

This last few months was spent fighting the nightmares. Fighting the stress that invaded my mind. And now, when I finally figured out how to deal, this happened.

What if getting my sight back changed me? What if I had to face it all over again? Seeing it in my mind was one thing, but being able to see the scars and the results of what happened to me, would be another.

"Can I think about it?" I asked, ignoring the tension coming off of my mother.

"Of course," Jeff answered politely. "You take your time, son."

I stood and turned to the doorway, or what I
thought
was the doorway. Turns out it was just a wall. Mom was right behind me and helped me out of the building without saying another word.

What could she say that she hadn't already?

"Do you want to go to lunch?" she asked when we got settled in the car.

"No, thank you. I just want to go home."

"Is Grace waiting for you?"

I shook my head. She'd be well into wedding planning by now, but I'd be fine on my own. Just like she always told me I would be. And I'd finally gotten to the point where I agreed with her.

The drive was too long. Longer than it should have been because I needed to be alone. I don't even remember thinking about what was out on the road. I didn't care anymore.

I might get my sight back.

The thought made me nauseous, which only infuriated me. I should be happy about this. I shouldn't have to think about it.

Why then?

Because things had changed and I didn't want those changes to suddenly escape me.

Mom helped me inside the house and started to say goodbye, but I stopped her.