Addicted to Him (21 page)

Dad buries his face in his hands, moaning, and I kind of wish that Seth wasn’t here to witness whatever this is. I shrug my shoulders at Seth and mouth, ‘I’m sorry.’

Dad raises back up with renewed resolve and blurts out, “The positive pregnancy test.”

“Cassidy, you’re pregnant?” Seth asks, excited.

“Wait, what?” I yell, confused.

“Sweetie, it’s okay,” Dad says, trying to be reassuring but I can tell he wants a giant sinkhole to collapse underneath him and swallow him whole.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Seth asks, confused.

“I assumed you knew, Seth,” Dad says. “Cassidy, I apologize that I told him before you were ready.”

I’m shaking my head back and forth trying to comprehend what is happening right now. Dad and Seth think I’m pregnant. I know I’m not pregnant but if the test isn’t mine then that means that Lisa is the one who is pregnant. So many thoughts are swirling around in my head that I almost forget that I need to tell the guys the test isn’t mine.

“Seth,” I say, turning to face his beautiful green eyes. “We aren’t having a baby.” I worry the minute the words leave my mouth that he will mistake what I’m saying to assume I mean the baby belongs to another guy, but the look we exchange tells me that he understands perfectly. Dad isn’t quite as quick.

“Oh, shit. I just thought you guys were exclusive. I didn’t realize there was anybody else,” Dad rambles.

“Dad,” I say loudly so he looks at me. “The test you found wasn’t mine.”

His tired brown eyes look confused. “But there are just the three of us here,” he says. It takes a second but he eventually realizes who is actually pregnant. His eyes go from tired, to wild, to elation in a matter of moments.

“Wow, that was awkward,” Seth jokes, slapping Dad on the back. “Congratulations, Dad.”

He throws me a wink and I know the reason he called him Dad was our engagement, not the new baby.

“Why wouldn’t she tell me?” Dad asks, confused.

“She’s probably just taking some time to process everything. I don’t think we should ruin her surprise though,” I say, but I can’t help wondering if maybe she was waiting to tell Dad until I was back in Missouri. She is probably looking forward to starting her own family and was afraid that I wouldn’t be happy about the new baby despite our conversation a few weeks ago.

Seth looks at Dad and pretends that he is zipping his lips and throwing away the key while laughing through smashed lips.

“I can’t believe this,” Dad says, shaking his head.

“It’s gonna be great, Dad.” I move from my chair to hug him, looking over his shoulder at Seth. I’m so happy for Dad and Lisa but there is no way I can ask Dad to move in now. I can’t help but wonder if this baby just changed the course of my life.

****

Seth keeps rubbing my tummy over and over like there really is a baby in there.

“Stop it, you’re freaking me out.” We are alone in my bedroom with the door closed, giving Dad some time to process everything before Lisa gets home.

“I would love to get you pregnant. Our baby would be so beautiful, just like you.”

“Please stop saying that. You’re freaking me out. I seriously almost peed my pants when Dad thought that test was mine.”

“You see, now they are going to need you here more than ever to help with the baby.”

“No, they are a family. I’m just a third wheel. I mean, they would never make me feel that way but it’s different when the child is a product of both parents. Chastity has always loved Wade more and Dad will love this baby more, too. It isn’t their fault, that’s just the way it is. But I’m not going to hang around and be in the way.”

“So we’ll get our own place.”

“Seth, I’m not ready for that.” I panic, realizing that I left the velvet ring box downstairs in the couch.

“Do you love me?” he asks, pulling me down on my bed.

“Seth, stop it. He’s just downstairs. And yes, I love you, you know that.”

He pushes me onto the bed and starts kissing my neck then works his way down my body. He stops at my chest, pulling back my V-neck T-shirt and bra to flick his tongue on my nipple. “If we lived together, we could do this whenever we wanted,” he reminds me, grinding himself against my shorts.

I arch my back, wanting more. God, I crave him. My father could bust in any minute and all I can think about is Seth thrusting into me. He’s like a drug I can’t get enough of. I wrap my legs around his waist, rubbing myself against him.

“Do you want me inside of you?” Seth asks, his eyes full of desire. I lick my lips and nod, knowing it’s crazy but not caring. He reaches out and grabs my arm from around him and takes in my naked ring finger. He does not approve.

“If I go down there and tell my dad I’m getting married on the same day he found out he’s having another baby, it’ll end him,” I defend myself, knowing full well that I wouldn’t have told him even if the baby didn’t exist.

Seth seems to consider this and brings my hand to his lips. “I suppose you’re right but I want to see you wearing that ring. None of this,” he says, moving my hand to his erection, “until you do.”

I hear the garage door go up again and know that Dad and Lisa are going to be busy talking for quite a while so we’ll be safe. It’s time to show Seth that he isn’t the only one with some power in this relationship. I roll out from under him and off the bed. I tiptoe across the room and quietly push in the lock on my doorknob.

I hate how much the thought of getting caught turns me on but I can’t help it. I’ve had so many different emotions rushing through me today that this is the only one I want to focus on right now. I know what I want and I’m going to get it.

“Where are you going?” Seth asks, rolling on his back.

I turn back toward him, without a word, and strip off my T-shirt and bra.

“It doesn’t matter what you do, you aren’t getting any dick until I see that ring on your finger,” he says, teasing, but I know he’s serious. Little does he know that he wasn’t the only one planning a surprise for tonight. I decided to shave off all my pubic hair to surprise him and I can’t wait to see his reaction.

My phone chimes and I pick it up to see a text from Dad.
Going for a long walk
. I hear the front door shut not long after.

“My parents are gone. Does that change your mind?” I ask innocently, unbuttoning my shorts.

“Nope, not unless you run downstairs and get that ring on,” he answers stubbornly.

I think about giving in but then I remember everything he’s put me through today and I want him but I also want him to know that I’m in control sometimes too.

“I don’t think I can wait, Seth. I’m so much more sensitive down there now,” I tease, letting my shorts fall to the ground.

“What do you mean, now?” He licks his lips nervously, glancing furtively at my panties.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I slide my fingers under the sides of my panties and pull them down slowly. “I wanted to surprise you.” I slip my panties down so he can see what I’ve done for him.

His eyes practically bug out of his head and his hardness swells immediately. “Oh my God, Cassidy.”

“But I guess you don’t want me,” I say, yanking my panties back up.

He’s off the bed and tackling me before I even realize what is happening. He tears my panties off me and forces my legs apart, plunging his tongue into my depths bringing me the most intense pleasure I’ve ever felt before. He brings me to the edge then pulls his tongue out of me, unzips his shorts, and thrusts into me with a sweet urgency. I’m back to the edge after just a few thrusts, begging him not to stop.

My entire body spasms as I come for him. I breathlessly call his name over and over enjoying every last ripple of my orgasm but also realizing that I was kidding myself to think that I’ll ever have any control in this relationship. I belong to him forever.

Chapter Fourteen

“So I guess everybody knows?” Lisa asks, setting a platter of stuffed green peppers on the table. She made Seth’s favorite and we are having a late dinner just so that he can join us after work. I think she was pretty mortified when she found out Dad thought the test belonged to me and is trying to make up for it.

Seth gets very interested in his silverware and napkin like he would rather be anywhere else.

“I’m so happy for you both,” I shriek, jumping up to hug Lisa. She gives me a big squeeze and a kiss on the cheek.

“That must have been a pretty horrible scene when your father thought the test was yours,” she says, adding a laugh.

“Worst moment of my life,” Seth pipes up, winking at me.

“It was definitely my biggest parenting fail,” Dad says with a chuckle. I break out of Lisa’s grip and rush into Dad’s arms.

“You’re a great dad. This baby is so lucky,” I say, burying my face into his chest. I can’t believe it took me almost all summer to be affectionate toward him. I just couldn’t help it. My feelings for my father and the Phil stuff are woven together so intricately because of the fatherly stuff that I’ve been confused. But my dad is nothing like Phil. He’s always loved me and tried to do what is best for me. He would never hurt me the way Phil has. I can’t help myself, I start sobbing uncontrollably.

“Cassidy, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Dad asks, holding me tightly against him.

“She doesn’t want to go back to Missouri,” Seth blurts out, pulling me back to reality.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just really happy for you guys,” I lie, pulling out of Dad’s embrace. I throw Seth a warning look.

“I’m not going to shut up. I love you and I don’t want you going back there,” he says, looking stubborn and sorry all at the same time. That’s when I realize that I’m not going to be able to stop him.

“Shut up, Seth,” I shout.

“Her mother treats her like a piece of garbage,” Seth says.

“I know she can be cruel, Cassidy. But she’s your mother, she loves you,” Dad says. “She realizes you’re growing up and she’s probably afraid of losing you.”

“I want you to live with us,” Lisa says, then looks at her feet like she’s ashamed.

Nobody says anything. Lisa’s words dance around in my head, making me euphoric. She loves me and she wants me to stay. This feeling is so amazing that I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

“Cassidy’s life is in Missouri, Lisa. We’ve talked about this. I don’t want her to feel pressured,” Dad says, making reality crash back all around me.

He doesn’t want me to stay. He had the perfect opportunity to add to Lisa’s heartfelt comment and he didn’t.

“Dad’s right. My life is in Missouri. This has been great and everything but you guys have a baby coming and the last thing you need is me here.”

“Martin, tell her you want her here. Tell her you love her more than anything in the whole world. Tell her that you will never love this new baby more than you love her,” Lisa says, grabbing Dad’s arm.

Tears stream down my face because the things she just said are things that I’ve been dreaming of my father saying to me my whole life.

“She knows all of that stuff,” Dad rebuffs.

“No, Martin. She doesn’t.”

I glance at Seth, who is shredding his napkin with his knife and fork. I can tell that a dark battle is being waged inside him right now. I can only hope that it ends in my favor. I try to get him to look at me but he won’t.

“Cassidy, you know I love you, right?” Dad asks.

I nod silently.

“You are always going to be my little girl, no matter how old you get. I never wanted to pressure you to move out here because I know your friends and life are in Missouri. But now that I’ve had you to myself all summer, I don’t ever want to give you back. I want you to stay here with us forever, Cassidy.”

I close my eyes and let his words rain down on me. I’ve waited my whole life to hear those proclamations. It would be so easy to tell them I want to stay and live happily ever after. But I can’t leave Wade to fend for himself. Besides, deep down I’ve never believed that I deserve to be happy.

I open my eyes to Seth’s intense glare. He knows what I’m going to say before I even say it.

“Dad, I—” I start to say but Seth interrupts me.

“Her stepfather molests her,” he blurts out, destroying my carefully built world with just four words.

Lisa’s gasp fills the room. I feel dizzy then see nothing but the floor rushing toward me at an alarming rate.

****

“I’m sorry, Cassidy. I had to. I couldn’t lose you,” Seth proclaims, rubbing my hair.

“Give her some space,” Lisa demands, pulling Seth away from me.

Slowly, I come around and realize that I’m lying on the velvet couch in the front entrance. The three of them are surrounding me, glancing worriedly down at me. Lisa’s face is stained with tears. Dad’s face is so pale under his summer tan that he looks sick. Seth can’t hide the happiness he is feeling, knowing that they’ll never send me back now. I’m furious with him. I’m starting to realize that he’ll stop at nothing to get his way.

“Seth, I want you to leave,” I say, my voice sounding like I’ve got gravel in my throat.

“I love you, Cassidy. I was just trying to help,” he pleads.

“Just go,” I say, sitting up with Dad’s help.

“I’m sure she’ll call you later, son. I appreciate that you care about her but I think she needs some time.”

Seth makes his way slowly to the front door, obviously hoping I’ll change my mind. I breathe a sigh of relief as he steps over the threshold and closes the door. I love him desperately but I can’t believe he betrayed me like this.

“Let’s get you up to your room,” Lisa offers, helping me off the couch. I gladly accept, hoping that maybe they’ll give me some time to somehow craft a lie to cover up the horrible truth that Seth just revealed to them. Who am I kidding? There isn’t a lie big enough to cover this mess up.

Dad hangs back as Lisa helps me up the stairs and into my bedroom. She shuts the door gently then opens my top drawer to find me a pair of pajamas. I let her help me undress and slide into the soft pajamas. She pulls back my comforter and sheets and I climb inside. She curls up next to me on top of the blankets and spoons me. I wonder if this is what it would have been like to have someone take care of me when I was sick. The most Chastity ever did was get me a bag of cough drops. The love radiating off Lisa hits me like a fist in the stomach.