Fifty Shades of Ecstasy (7 page)

She lies face down, propped up on her elbows, with her legs spread. He is in the push-up position behind her, his legs on the inside of hers. As he leans forward, she arches her back, resting her head under his chin. She bends her knees to wrap her legs around his butt. If the angle’s not right, putting a pillow beneath her hips will lift her pelvis for better reception. (Getting a penis through the gate is sort of crucial to sex in that way, so it’s worth being accommodating.) He may be on top, but she also has a say in the thrusting department. She can use her legs around his bum to pull him closer and meet his hips as he moves.

This position gives you lots of room for movement, so make use of it. Tilt your hips (both of you!) for a different vibe, or let your hands roam to spice up this already spicy position!

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It’s no secret I’m a fan of tie-’em-up games, and this position, while silver tie-free, has the perfect amount of rough stuff! Try this position when you’re feeling especially naughty.

She kneels on the bed and he kneels behind her. He pushes her shoulders down on the bed while twisting her arm behind her back (Gently: If you dislocate her shoulder, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG). He then enters her from behind. Even though she looks disarmed, she can still move her hips to meet his thrusts, or use her free hand to give herself even more traction. He can use his grip on her to help him thrust deeper. This position is begging for extras: He can add more rough to the tumble by pulling her hair or swatting her ass, and they both can break out their naughtiest dirty talk.

“Touch with thy
lips
and enkindle. This
moon-white
delicate body”

—
Sappho,
One Hundred Lyrics

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ORDS ON
BDSM

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aving picked up this book, it’s more than likely you know what the acronym “BDSM” means. Just in case you need a refresher, it’s a condensed set of terms that refers to bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. In other words: fuck me and make it hurt. Exciting sex doesn’t have to be rough sex, but rough sex can be really exciting. Here are a few tricks of the trade if you want to play rough, disclaimers, and the occasional reminder not to accidentally put your loved one in the hospital.

Have a Safeword

BDSM is all about sexual experimentation and testing your limits. You and your partner should pick out a safeword, whether it’s a color, household item, or inside joke that will be the HALT for when one of you wants to stop. Words that are unrelated to sex are usually your best bet, because screaming, “QWERTY KEYBOARD!”
probably
won’t sound like your typical sexy words of encouragement.

Go Shopping Together

Toys, toys, and more toys! A little rough play is nothing without some fun accessories. From massage oils to spanking skirts to floggers and paddles, there are endless options for incorporating inanimate objects into your love sessions. Going to a sex shop or looking online is also a great thing to do as a couple. It’s a fun way to suggest things you wouldn’t normally bring up: “Ha! Honey, look! It’s a build-your-own sex swing kit! How hilarious! Can you imagine?! But, but really—if you want it . . . ”

Trade Roles

Generally speaking, in BDSM play there is a dominant partner and a submissive partner. The flogger and the floggee, the professor and the pupil, the librarian and the truant book-borrower—you get the point. Both roles can be incredibly fun (there is no wrong end of a sexy spanking), but it’s even more fun to switch things up a bit. Just because he likes to pull her hair doesn’t mean he’s against being handcuffed to the bed!

Abuse and BDSM are NOT Two Sides of the Same Coin

Now that BDSM has hit mainstream media, it has become a hot button issue about whether incorporating bondage, pain play, or roughness into your sex life is unhealthy or abusive. BDSM can range from experimentation with spanking to an entire domination and submission lifestyle as a couple.

Healthy couples discuss their sexual preferences with one another, and draw lines in the sand about what is okay and what is not okay. Some people like to get spanked during sex, some like to be tied up, and some want to get hit with a riding crop. It’s not for everyone, but it is also NOT the same as being abused by your partner. Taking real-life issues out during sex—whether verbally or physically—is completely inappropriate. Please, please note—if you are worried your relationship is abusive, it probably is. You should never stay in a scenario where you feel unsafe.

L
AID
O
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This position looks complicated, but if you take your time and move into it in steps, you’ll have no trouble with it! This neat rear-entry has a feature that you often miss banging from behind: some love for the clitoris. When she bends forward, she’s not just giving him a fantastic view of her ass; she’s also tilting her body so that each thrust rubs her the right way.

He sits on the bed with his legs straight out in front of him. She sits on his lap with her knees outside his legs, her back against his chest, as she slides him inside of her. Once he’s in position, she leans forward toward his legs as he helps tuck her legs behind him. She slowly stretches further until she is laying face down between his outstretched legs. Her hips should be up a bit, resting on his thighs, to help get the right thrusting angle. She can grab his ankles for leverage while he holds on to her hips.

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UNNING
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TART