How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) (10 page)

If you are getting a fairly strong erection from your partner’s caresses, this is a good time to introduce intercourse into the program. Exercise 10 will show you how, but first we need to talk for just a moment about positions. In all of the years my colleagues and I have worked with these techniques, one intercourse position has remained our favorite.

It’s our experience that this position maximizes the benefits of the techniques you are learning while minimizing effort.

I don’t want to sound like a mechanical engineer here, but in this position, which you are about to learn, all of the angles are ideal. The motion is ideal and the contact is ideal. Best of all, it
feels
great.

Every couple is different, and it is entirely possible that you may find one or more different positions that work even better for you than the one I recommend. That’s fine. I would never want to discourage you from experimenting. Try any position you are interested in. Have fun with it. Play. You may discover your own favorite. But first, let me teach you mine.

The woman should lie on her back and feel very comfortable. She may want a pillow under her buttocks and the small of her back for extra comfort. She raises her legs in the air, spreads them

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comfortably, and bends her knees. The man should be on his knees, in between the woman’s legs. Note that the man is going to use his
knees
, not his arms, to support most of his weight.
It is extremely important that his center of gravity is in
his hips
. This minimizes muscle tension in the man’s torso, enabling him to fully relax his muscles during the exercise.

It is from this position that he penetrates the woman.

Now I know that at first this position may sound a little bit convoluted. After all, we’re making love here, not pretzels.

But hear me out. You will recall how important it is for you to have your muscles as relaxed as possible during these exercises. In certain intercourse positions, it is simply not possible for these muscles to relax, and that can make learning these techniques far more difficult. The position I have just described also makes it very easy for the man to breathe properly. As I’ve said before, good breathing technique is extremely important in these exercises. While the position I’ve described is not the
only
position that works, it is the best one I know…particularly when you are learning to become multiorgasmic for the first time. Most men and women tell me that this is the position with which they have their greatest success. They get used to it very quickly, and usually it’s the one they come to prefer over all others, regardless of how many they try. So give it a chance. It’s hot. Trust me.

If you are not in a committed, monogamous relationship where
it has been clearly established that both partners are HIV negative,
you must practice safe sex
.

104 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

Exercise 10: Enter the Dragon (with a partner) This exercise begins just like Exercise 9 (“Moonlight Drive”).

You are lying on your back and your partner is giving you a sensate focus genital caress. You are going to do a peak at Level 4 and another at Level 6. Each time you will use your PC muscle to put the brakes on your arousal. You will also take a deep, deep breath at these peaks, at which point your partner will stop her caress.

If you have a fairly strong erection by the time you peak at Level 6, you are ready to have intercourse with your partner. (If you don’t have a strong erection yet, don’t push it. Wait until Level 8 or Level 9.) The first thing you need to do is switch positions. Your partner needs to lie on her back.

She should raise her legs in the air, spread them apart suffi-ciently, and bend her knees comfortably.

You are going to kneel between her legs, with your legs and hips supporting the bulk of your weight. Now you are going to insert your penis and begin slowly, gently thrusting.

In this exercise, no speed is too slow. Move your penis in and out of her vagina by rolling or rocking your pelvis. Don’t tense your muscles.

This is still a pressure-free sensate focus exercise. Think of yourself as caressing the inside of your partner’s vagina with your penis. Focus on the sensations. Stay in the here and now. Don’t think about your performance. This is solely for your pleasure. If your mind starts to drift, gently bring HOW TO MAKE LOVE ALL NIGHT / 105

yourself back to the pleasurable sensations you are feeling in the moment.

Your partner should be totally focused on her sensations too. If she’s really paying attention to what she’s feeling, her arousal levels are likely to go up just like yours. The two of you are going to feel really connected here. You’re climbing these mountains together.

Peak at Level 7. This may require you to slowly increase the speed of your thrusting. Nothing frantic, just a medium speed. When you reach Level 7, hit the brakes by squeezing your PC (hopefully by now you have discovered the method of squeezing that works best for you). Take a deep, deep breath. Now stop moving. Tell your partner, “That’s a 7.”

This is her cue to stop moving too. Stay inside your partner and wait for your arousal to drop two levels. This should take a few seconds.

Once your arousal has dropped two levels, start thrusting again. This time, you want to peak at Level 8. Try to keep your thrusting at medium speed. You’re not in any rush—let your arousal build slowly. When you reach Level 8, squeeze your PC. Take a deep, deep breath. Then stop moving for a few seconds. Tell your partner, “That’s an 8.” She should stop moving too, if she hasn’t already. Stay inside of her and let your arousal drop at least two levels.

You may be ready to stop the exercise by now. Or you may feel like you’re just getting started. If you both want to try for a Level 9 peak, go for it. Remember that you are going to have to squeeze that PC
really
hard and take a
really
deep breath

106 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

when you hit your high peaks. If you want to go all the way to orgasm, that’s great too. But feel free to stop at any time.

The most important thing is that both of you are enjoying yourselves.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: You can learn all you need to know about peaking without having any intercourse. The most important thing right now is that neither you nor your partner are feeling any pressure to perform. If you would prefer to limit your contact to genital caresses, please do. And remember that if you do have intercourse it should be a
pressure-free
interaction. Don’t change the intent of the exercises.

C H A P T E R N I N E

FROM PEAKS TO

PLATEAUS

107

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Y
ou are now ready to prepare the final ingredient in our recipe for male multiple orgasm: the plateau. A plateau, quite simply, is an extended peak. The peaks you have been creating in the previous chapter last only one or two seconds.

Well, imagine taking these short peaks and stretching them out so they last five seconds, ten seconds, or even longer before they drop off. Instead of a quick peak, you now have an exhilarating plateau.

In the following exercises you are going to learn how to stretch your peaks into plateaus lasting anywhere from several seconds to several minutes. This may sound like a long time right now, but once you experience just how wonderful each plateau feels, you’re going to wish it lasted even longer.

I get excited just thinking about it.

There are four different ways to stretch a peak into a plateau:

• Changing your breathing

• Squeezing your PC muscle

• Changing your motion

• Changing your focus

I’m going to teach you all four of these methods in the following exercises. All four are important, for reasons I will discuss later. What you’re really doing in these plateauing exercises is learning how to manipulate and prolong your own arousal using different types of stimulation. You’re learning to “play” with your levels—to control them and enjoy them in new and exciting ways. This kind of control 110 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

is going to pave the way toward your first multiple orgasm.

These techniques are a little bit more tricky than anything you’ve tried so far, but the rewards are worth the effort. So, assuming you are rested and ready, let’s get back to work.

Note that Exercise 11 does not require a partner, while Exercise 12 is done with a partner.

Exercise 11: Bronco Buster (solo)

Lie on your back or sit in a chair and get very comfortable.

Using plenty of lubrication, begin a genital caress. Start working toward a Level 5 peak. Using the first technique—changing your breathing—you are actually going to stretch that Level 5 peak into a Level 5 plateau.

As you reach Level 5 you want to start thinking about making your first plateau. Pay close attention to your arousal level. You should be getting pretty good at this by now. Can you tell the difference between a “5” and a “5.5”?

Before you reach Level 6,
slow down your breathing
. Don’t change anything else. By intentionally slowing your breathing pattern, your arousal level should start to fall. Pay close attention as it starts to dip. Once it drops below Level 5, you want to change your breathing again. This time, you want to
breathe faster
—so you’re almost panting. If you are breathing fast enough, your arousal level will rise back to Level 5 or higher.

Just by manipulating your breathing—alternating between slowing it down and speeding it up—

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you should be able to hover at Level 5 (plus or minus half a level). A lot of guys call this “riding a 5.” See if you can stay there for at least a few seconds.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: You don’t want to do this particular breathing manipulation too long because you might hyperventilate. Sixty seconds is too long. Ten or fifteen seconds is plenty. You can create longer plateaus with the other three techniques.

Take a rest, letting your arousal drop one or two levels.

Then begin stroking yourself again so your arousal starts to climb. This time, let’s try to plateau at Level 6 using the second technique: squeezing the PC muscle.

As you reach Level 6 you want to be thinking about your plateau. Don’t stop your caress. Let your arousal continue to rise. But by the time you reach Level 6.5, you need to take action. It’s simple: give your PC a couple of squeezes. That’s all. Don’t change anything else; this time it is only the PC

you’re going to work with.

Squeezing the PC should stop your arousal from climbing any higher, and could bring you down half a level or more.

Continue your caress with the same intensity and let your level rise again. Every time you pass Level 6 use the PC to bring you back down. Try to “ride” that Level 6 for at least ten or fifteen seconds. Yeehaa! You’ve created a plateau with the PC muscle.

112 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

Now let’s try the third technique: changing your motion.

This time, you are going to stretch your peak into a plateau by changing the speed at which you stroke your penis. Begin as though you were going to peak at Level 7. Once you have passed Level 7, slow your motion down. The shift should lower your arousal almost immediately. Let yourself dip below a “7.” Now speed up your motion to rise back up.

Whenever you want to raise your level, speed up your stroke. Whenever you want to drop it, slow down. It’s that simple. Try to maintain your Level 7 plateau for at least a few seconds. Have a good ride.

The fourth way to stretch a peak into a plateau is to change the focus. In this exercise, changing the focus means changing the area of your genitals that you are stimulating (it will have a different meaning in other exercises). Let’s say you’ve been caressing the head of your penis. To change the focus, you’d stop touching the head and start caressing the testicle or the shaft. Sound simple? Good. Let’s try it.

This time, let’s shoot for Level 8. Caress yourself as though you were going to peak at Level 8, but when you hit your

“8,” don’t stop. Somewhere between “8” and “8.5” you want to change the focus of your caress. Your arousal should start to drop. As your arousal dips below Level 8, shift back to the area you were touching before or intensify the pressure of your touch. This should bring you back up. If you get too high, shift again. Use this technique to extend your Level 8

peak into a ten-or fifteen-second plateau.

Congratulations cowboy! You’re a full-fledged bronco buster now.

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TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: The key to mastering the plateau is learning to stay relaxed while you continue to stimulate yourself. This gets easier to do once you trust that the four different techniques you’ve just learned really work. With some practice, you can learn to ride at really intense levels, such as Level 9 or even Level 9.5.

You can also learn how to plateau with your partner. Extending your arousal extends your partner’s pleasure too, making this exercise a favorite among women. Some men find it easier to learn plateauing techniques with a partner whereas others find it easier to work alone. Try it both ways, if you like, and see what’s best for you.

Exercise 12: Endless Summer (with a partner) Once again, you need to lie on your back and get comfortable.

Your partner is going to begin a sensate focus genital caress.

This is a demand-free exercise. You should both be focusing on the sensations—nothing more.

Your first plateau is going to be at Level 4, and you are going to create it by controlling your breathing. As you reach Level 4, start breathing more slowly and deeply. Your arousal should start to drop, even though your partner is continuing her caress. When you dip to a “3.5” start breathing faster, as though you were panting. Your level 114 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

should rise. Slow down your breathing again once you pass Level 4.

By alternating between slow breathing and panting, you should be able to maintain your plateau at Level 4 for ten or fifteen seconds. It’s like catching a wave and riding it. Just remember that you don’t want to manipulate your breathing for very long because you run the risk of hyperventilating.